EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
