I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
