idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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