I think I died a long time ago.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His hands were made for my vagina.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
