If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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