"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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