so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
