did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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