I have demons in me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
