the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
