Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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