also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize