champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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