she's into porn, im staying here tonight
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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