you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
