I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
