Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
