So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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