I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
