I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
