Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize