it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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