it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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