Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
