the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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