I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
