YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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