barbara walters just said penis...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
