Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize