...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
