just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
