She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
