the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
