Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
