Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
