You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
