I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
birth control should be required to get into college
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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