Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
