he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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