I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
