we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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