so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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