when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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