Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
