I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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