We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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