So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
