you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
