Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
