my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Every concussion has its silver lining
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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