On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
