I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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