He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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