Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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