I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I die, sorry about rent.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
