I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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