just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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