they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
