I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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