I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
only you would photoshop your dick
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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