i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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